


Deleted Scenes from New Mutants Two (2019)

by NotQuiteHydePark



Category: New Mutants (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Babysitting, Background Poly, Card Games, Multi, Of course I love this issue too, Parody, Pirates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:35:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21641050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotQuiteHydePark/pseuds/NotQuiteHydePark
Summary: "I'm not much of a reader."
Relationships: Kitty Pryde/Illyana Rasputin, Roberto da Costa/Sam Guthrie, Sam Guthrie/Izzy Kane
Kudos: 17





	Deleted Scenes from New Mutants Two (2019)

New Mutants in prison jumpsuits look at one another searchingly after the Shi’ar judge declares them guilty. 

“What?” says Dani.

“Nae!” says Rahne, frowning.

“Phone home,” says Murd Blurdock, failed space lawyer.

“Somebody is not getting paid,” Roberto tells the failed space lawyer.

“After that movie was such a big hit in the 1980s I made so many credits I could retire to Shi’ar space and live on the interest. I don’t need to get paid,” says the space lawyer. “I pretty much do this for fun.”

“Now you tell me,” says Roberto.

Rahne remembers, just now, how that movie was the first one she saw when she moved to the States. She feels warms towards the bad lawyer and can’t believe anyone with that head-shape and those eyelids could have done so bad a job.

*

_Hi Rod! Where Sam hugs Rahne, can we get a full page on that close-up of her face? That’s just absolutely heartwarming. Fans have been wanting to see something like for decades. –JH_

_Jon: we’d have to lose a page of plot to do that and I’m not sure we can, but thank you. I worked super-hard on the colors for that one too—Rahne’s eyes, her blush, her skin tones, her hair. I’m glad you noticed. –Rod PS please don’t tell me you ship them._

_Rod: of course I don’t ship them. You know who I ship. -JH_

*

Sam faces Smasher and Berto, who seem to be staring each other down. “What’s your problem, Bobby?” Smasher asks.

“Him,” Bobby answers.

“What’s wrong with me?” Sam answers, blond hair, as always, standing on end.

“For one thing, we do all that negotiating and even arrange for teleportation and then it’s like you forgot how to use Google Calendar. I was supposed to have you on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and then you’d be with her on Mondays, Wednesdays and all weekend for the kid, except on Sundays when Lila’s in town. Did you really forget to check our calendar? This is important to me, Sam. You’ve always been that important to me. We knew that from the get-go.” Roberto utters a mild oath in Portuguese.

“Come on, even Magnum P.I. mixes dates up sometimes,” Sam says, wanting everyone happy, as always.

“Magnum P.I. didn’t have Google Calendar,” Berto says.

“Neither does the Shi’ar Empire,” Sam retorts. “Do you know how hard it is to get a signal out here? I’ve been trying to text you for months. Our teleporter broke.”

“Lila broke?” Berto asks.

“Lila and I broke up but that’s not what I meant. Our mechanical teleporter broke.” As always, Sam has been trying all along to do the right thing.

“It’s true,” Smasher says. “He missed you. He talked about you in his sleep. A lot.” Sam blushes until his cheeks are as red as Rahne’s. “Did you hear anything from him, Berto? Anything at all? I mean, you’re a self-centered rich kid who makes terrible business decisions and has the patience of a hungry Kvarian vole on No-Doz, but you mean a lot to my husband and since I’m not a huge mononormative Earth jerk, that means you mean a lot to me. Did you get any communication at all from us?”

“Nothing,” Roberto answers. “That’s the problem. I mean, look at you.”

One page later, we are on Smasher’s side, visually and emotionally, when she smacks Roberto in the nose.

One page after that, we discover that Sam, unaccountably, travels with Roberto’s spare outfit: where did he get it? does he just take it everywhere with him? has he been doing so for months?

*

Smasher joins Illyana and Dani as the mutants explore the ship rec room’s walls, one compartment door after another. “And you’re inspecting our ship for…”

“Coffee,” Dani says. “We need coffee. Illyana in particular needs coffee. A great deal of coffee.”

“The Shi’ar Empire has a strong preference for tea,” Smasher says, innocently.

“I have a strong preference for surviving our trip,” Dani says. “Also against being run through with giant swords. Do you share those preferences?”

Illyana smiles slightly and then remembers to frown. She’ll take matter-converter instant if she must—there’s a spell for that—but she can’t just conjure up caffeine. She taps one empty storage compartment and then another, making a kick-drum sound.

“I hope Brazilian coffee works for you,” Roberto pipes up from the next room, groggily.

“Can this wait?” Sam asks, also groggy.

“Absolutely not,” Dani and Illyana say in unison.

*

Smasher stares into the blue of the decoded holoscreen. “Send a return message to Chandilar,” she says. “Tell the babysitter we’re going to be running late.”

Sam Guthrie approaches his wife and the Shi’ar pilot from behind. “Rocket’s not gonna like that, honey. He told me he’s got a shooting contest in the morning and we had to be home by ten.”

“You engaged Rocket Raccoon as our babysitter?!?!?” Smasher turns to face her husband, fury behind the goggles over her eyes. The two of them have a brief goggle-to-goggle staredown.

“Of course not,” Sam says. “I would never do that to our baby.” Pause. “It’s Groot.”

“You’re impossible,” Smasher tells him, and gives him a peck on the lips. “And I love you.” (We understand that it’s not really Groot: possibly Sam shows Smasher a photo, or contact info, for the real babysitter, a young-looking Shi’ar.)

Roberto appears in a doorway. “And I you.”

*

Most of our mutants are playing a card game. “What in the world is that?” Xi’an asks when Chamber shows his hand. It’s not clear to us—even after we see the cards—whether Xi’an doesn't understand the hand Chamber played, or whether she doesn’t understand the whole game. The symbols on the cards don’t match any symbols in any card game played on Earth-616, as far as we—and Xi’an—know.

Doug puts his human hand onto the table. “Sabacc,” he says. “We’re playing Sabacc. From Star Wars. The rules are like poker, except—“

Dani cuts him off. “Doesn’t matter.” She’s tired of having to defend her dignity against all her best friends at once and mostly wants the game to be over, so she can hang out with Sam at least a little before he and Berto and/or Smasher go to bed. She’s heard they might be livestreaming Lila Cheney.

Illyana apparently feels the same way as Dani. “Hey look we can’t read any of those cards either,” she declares, juggling her whole hand in the air with an uncharacteristically goofy eye-roll for a look. “But then against I didn’t really have a formal education—I’m not much of a reader—“

Doug, who understands every language except for sarcasm, interrupts. “Illyana Nikolaevna Rasputin, you have memorized _Eugene Onegin_ and I have heard you reciting it. Also you read at least eight languages. I know this because I tried to learn one of them and you quite rightly stopped me on the grounds that if you’re not a natural magic-user surrounded by protective wards cast with fresh lime juice under a full moon the language of Xchtolanian will eat your brain from the inside out.”

“And then maggots fall out of your eyes,” Illyana adds.

“Right, that. But you read books in it. On the regular.”

“That’s for work,” she objects. “For fun I have swordfights.”

“And also for fun you sext me,” a voice from Illyana’s phone adds. She’s had the phone in her lap, out of view of the other card-players, all along.

“How many bottles of wine did you drink today, Captain Kate Pryde?” Dani asks, genuinely concerned.

“That’s Captain Red Queen Pryde to you,” she says. “Oops! Man overboard!”

“Kate?” Illyana asks.

Kate seems to sober up slightly. We see her face in the phone, less flushed than before. “It’s just Bobby again, ice skating on the rink he built over the Sea of Japan. He’ll be fine.”

In the background, Sam and Bobby and Smasher give one another high fives.


End file.
